I miss your voice, miss your laughter..
I miss everything about you.
Including your smile..

Yesterday when we talk, it's a great recovery..
The way we talk, there is improvement..
We did laugh..
We did say "I love you".
We did say "Good Night".
We did share some things.
And IT'S GREAT!!

Love ya SUREE!!

ARGHH!! It is so hard on me now!!
Really..
Patience, patience, patience.
Why is it so hard to stay patience???
I know that people has their own limitation of patience but....
I dun knw..

I'm putting myself on pressure. I feel very different.
I feel weak, stressed out....
But i can't think that my situation right now is the hardest that can get.
This maybe the beginning but not to the worst.
Maybe this is just a test. Maybe..
How i wish i could turn back time to the time we use to be.
Happy and enjoying every minute of our time together..

What is the cause of this?
What makes us "hate" each other suddenly??
What made me so hot-tempered suddenly??
What made u not to think and kol me evertime??
What made us not to say "Goodnite" everytime we are going to sleep??
Why is it so hard to say sorry??
Why are things suddenly become so complicated??
Why can't i find the solution to this even if i think about it 24/7??
What made us so far away from each other??
Why do i feel that i'm so far away from home??
What will happen in the future if we go on like this??
Will we be okay again??
Will we do our best to meet each other more often??
Will we be kissing, holding hands, sharing secrets and stuffs again??
Will we smile and fell in love everytime we see each other??
Can u/i support each other in good and bad times??
Can i be right behind u every single second, minute, moment??
CAN WE BE HAPPY AGAIN TOGETHER???

So many unanswered questions in my heart that's dying to find the solution.
I know i hang up on u just now and i was wrong.
I'm sorry.
I got things to talk to you. Read it and call me please.
I know u must be angry with me. Or maybe furious.
But i care not. I care only to make sure that you are mine and mine only.
I still need some explaination about today.
Call my hse, not cellphone.

Haixx... Please??
If things are not working out again, maybe separate path is the best option.
But will regret it even though it is the right thing to do.
Muax!!

Bored at home. Somemore tomorrow got skewl!!
FUCK!!!

Went to Mustafa centre at ard 3 with Amil, Yan and Zaki..
Had alot of fun man!!

Well, how about letting the pictures do all the talking aye??



First up!! We have YAN!!!
Nice..............................











Ni nk g pancing ke main billard??


Fuuh!!! Fierce ehk korg.. Kekeke...



Kasot mcm lawa jek??Excited sey nk g swimming!!!


Step tgh balance bola jek. Keke..


Yan, yan.
Ni baru btol balance. Haha.
Ni balance bola rugby da knape?



Haha.. No comment.. Hehe.


US!!!



Bkn main bsr g kelape tu ehk..



Suke nyer dier dpt nasi bryani.. haha.
Soup tulang power!! That's mine bebeh!!



Ni sume tgh syiok mkn nie..


Amcm?? Ader baik pe thosai dier?? SETTLE!!!!



Aku mkn mcm nie?!?! Terok nyer!!


Aku tgk si amil ni minum mcm nk telan cawan tu skali sak. Haha.



Zaki: POWER BEB!! SETTLE!!


Kenyang beb mkn thosai dier!! FUUH!! SETTLE!!!


Coconut POWER!!!



Ngee Ann City, Takashimaya


Ni da bored n penat nyer psl amek sembrg!!



Louis Vuitton BEBEH!!



Amil muke concentrate btol ehk.. Haha..



Last picture of the day!! Pat Wisma. Muke aku lak tk nmpk. Sebok uhh nie lampu!!





Now, choosing the PICTURE OF THE DAY!!

For me the picture of the day is......................................................................



The billard Cue and the Hat, dun get along. Haha. Well, it is just my opinion la.







Well, other than that, i really had fun man!! The stress part is when we are trying to find Amil a great birthday present for his Girl. Pusing2 beb!! Kaki sampai lenguh!!
But he did bought 2 things.

A Dorothy Perkins dress
A Agnes b. bag

Dun bother asking how much. It's expensive! Haha. But lawa sey!! Jealous!!
Hehe..

Well, that's all. Hoping for more outing dearest friends!!!

MUAX!! LOVE YOU GUYS!!
=D

This is a little video on my course at ITE Ang Mo Kio.
Those of you who loves musics, media stuffs and cameras, this is your PERFECT CHOICE!!

This is another group doing on their assignment 1.
It's a News Broadcasting!!
Basically there are 3 cameras, 3 talents and a TV.
But that is just at the studio floor.
The studio room consist of Director,Producer,Visual Mixer, Sound and Lighting Coordinator,VTR and Computer Graphics Operator. Maybe there's more i think but that will do.. Haha.

Enjoy the video and maybe you can ask a few question about the course.
I'll be glad to tell everything about it!!




ADIOS!!!!!

This is funny. Seriuosly!!
I laugh everytime i watch this video.

ENJOY!!

Radhi really having some fun there..
ROCKING OUT BEBEH!!

I just bought that guitar. At only $230.
CHEAP RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!
Bought at City Music. It was a Year End Sale actually..
Haha..
That's why cheap la.. You think that guitar cost so cheap uhh??
Haha..
Well, anyways, hope you guys enjoyed that video..
Hehe..





OUTZ!!!

I tried calling your cellphone..(at 4.00am)
I tried calling your house...(at 4.00am)
I tried msging you...(at 3.10pm)
But nothing i get...

You've climbed mountains trying to save this relationship.
You burn all your strength trying to make this ok.
You showed me with love and tears to show how greatful you are to have me.

Well, even though we fought, even on the highest mountains, i never regret loving you. Suree, in all my life since we met, i never stop loving you.


But today, I realize that the trap is for my own. I caught myself in my own game now.
I could be over but i du believe it. I think we are still out there. But i have to wait for you now.
I need to talk to you. URGENTLY!! Plz Suree. Call me please??





I'm missing you like hell right now.. Please call me???
Dun you wanna talk to again??

GROUP HUG FOR A JOB WELL DONE!!! :D



Liverpool demolished Aston Villa!!! Wee~!!!

I've read your blog, Fiq.

After reading it, the whole story flashed back right infront of my eyes.
The day i read your blog and started burning in flames inside.
When im otw home, i kept repeating that sentence.
Step into the house, on my lappy and blog about this.
When the speculation went over and jealousy arise.
Everytime I tried to bring this up, it kept on failing till that day.
N now, here we are....

I could just pretend that nothing has happened.
I could just ignore it and let you go beyond the line.
I could just pretend showering her with my "love" but in fact my "flames".
I could just go on n on n on and waiting for us to be over.

But i did not. I react to this.
Just like what u said.
Everything happens for a reason.

The reason i did this is for both of you to realize that im here.
Im still breathing. Still walking this earth trying to persue my dreams.
I did this to make u realize that u are way beyond your line.
Your words hurt me deeper than what suree did. (which is going to the library without letting me know.)
Yes, you did went beyond that line.
But what do people always say?
"Beyond is the truth".
What you said is the truth. And nothing but the truth.
But what you did is that you put it down at your blog.
And suree's bad luck follows by showing me that.
Your words are the fuels for my fire to burn.

One more thing, whatever you think about us, that is your opinion.
Keep it to yourself. Don't interfear in our relationship unless it is out of control.
I mean really deeply in a mess.
If you think it would help, tell suree your opinion.
And maybe, she can tell me the right way.
If she can. I believe she can.

Yes, she can share the things about us.
The good and the bad.

I apologize too for being too hard on her. But it is lesson needed to be thought.
I really do love her. But sometimes, things have to go beyond expectations just to save it.





















Suree, if you are reading this, I have no intention to break up with you.
It is just that i want you, your turn to save our relationship instead of me.
Please learn how to apologize. Learn it. Coz you will never know when you might need it.
I'm sorry to pile up the pressure on you. What i did is reflect of you. What u always do when we fight. You kept quiet on the phone, never apologize and stuff. This is YOU.

Realize it.
Think about it.
Change it.
And there will be no problem when facing the toughest obsticles in life.










LOVE YOU SUREE!!! :D

How interesting???

Nw you are saying that its obvious??
What obvious?? If Fiq didn't interfear in
our relationship, none of this
would happened..


AM I RIGHT?????

Your brother said those stuffs to
me and u're ok with it??
What kind a GF are u??
U dun protect me.
In fact, u throw me away when
u're with him..
Isn't that right?? Dun try to lie..

U dun have to make the decision..
U can just ignore all this..
I have my pride..
I have my dignity..

And yes! It is either me or him..
But of coz its obvious isn't it??
It will never be me.
You can hold up to your entire
life not looking at me..
But u can never hold that long when
you're hearing HIS voice or he go AWOL.

AM I RIGHT SUREE??
U JUST LOVE HAVING 2
GUYS IN YOUR LIFE RIGHT??

Den what am i to you??
A friend??
You love having 2 guys so if you fought
with one, another will always be there.
So u won't feel the guilt in you.
Make sense does it? Really.
So this is what u are up to all along.
I was too blinded by your "love"
to see it coming.
BRILLIANT SUREE!!
Nice tactics!
Well, keep on having 2 guys in ur life
and u will miseries.

IM NOTHING TO YOU NW RIGHT?
COZ I SEE NOTHING
PROGRESSING TO ITS BETTER.
EVERYTHING IS FOR THE WORST.
GO ON WITH FIQ.
MAY ONE DAY YOU BOTH
GET MARRIED.
IN FACT, HE'S BETTER THAN
ME AIN'T HE???

He's smart
He's rich
He's understanding
He listens to you
He makes you happy
He can make things i simply can't do.

SO WHAT ARE U WAITING FOR???
GO!!
JUST LEAVE ME AND MY
FUCKING-SELF ALONE!!
OK?



I've read your recent post.
Looks like you still can
back your brother..

WOW!!! Unpredictable..
We're having this and you
can still back your brother..
WOW!!
I think your brother is enjoying this
I bet he's telling you to break off with me
Yeah!!
Where are you?
Dun you wanna kol me??
Hmm..
Well, looks like you dun anymore..

Why must i do the call?! Why not you??











U did this!!
This is your mess!!!
Clean it up with your effort!!
Dun try to change the direction to me!!
I've done no wrong!!


Its not my call....
Its not my decision to make this time...
Its not my mess....
Its not my wrong doings....
Its not my fault.....
Its not my intention....
AND ITS NOT MINE....














Sorry, but this time, it is your call to make...
Not mine...

Lyrics for the song in this profile....
Cool meanings!!! Listen!!!

Dripping wet with practiced sincerity,
Cute slogans for tangible mysteries.
You reduce your god (pruned to profit your ego)
To a tv commercial,
"Buy what I sell! (advertise, advertise! )" you scream,
"Purchase my lifestyle!"

I once held the key, but now I have nothing.
You are so naive.
I'm sorry for leading you along.
I'm just a man, I'm just a man.
I'm just a man!

Wake me up and wipe the cliche from my eyes.
It's killing me when all I see is hypocrisy and lies.
I know that my faults bring me down, it's a constant battle.
That's why I have to be honest with you now...
I'm not your saint, I'm not your savior

I once held the key, but now I have nothing.
You are so naive.
I'm sorry for leading you along.
I'm just a man, I'm just a man.
I'm just a man!

I once held the key to everything you ever dreamed of.
Now I have nothing.
I'm sorry for leading you along.
I'm just a man, I'm just a man
I'm just a man!

Just a man, Just a man!

That's for u...... I'm just a man!!

Its a pity that u dun really know who is the real me...
I never told you this before bcoz i'm afraid that u dun understand....
I never dated or go out with a girl with a God Brother....
Bcoz, this is what just might happened...
And it really did...


We began to be so far away from each other since ur fucking
brother said something about me..
U cant even see it.....
U are too blind to see that I'm hurt by ur own God Brother....
And u still cant be bothered to say anything or confront something...
You are SOOOO FUCKING TOUCH by that post that he posted for you....
He said so many beautiful things about you...

How great you are to him.....
How close you are to him.....
How happy are you with him.....
And even more.... I myself cant be bothered to remember....

Do you realize that we are on the verge of breaking up??
Just bcoz of what HE said that change my mind....

I think, since u have a great brother that u really love so much den your own BF,
den you dun need me anymore..
Dun say u dun love him more... Just look at you....
I'm here posting this just after a post for our anniversary...
And wher are you???

Did u told Him that his post made things worst??
Did u told Him to stay out of ur relationship life??
Did u scold or confront Him that it is not his business to intercept ur life???
I BET YOU DON'T EVEN SAY A SINGLE WORD!!!

But if u are goin to say to him after reading this, dun bother...
Ok??






















Well, have a happy life ahead!!!

This is for you...
Standing firmly on the ground


































I will never give up hope on us till it is really gone.
I will keep on believing that we still have what it takes to make things right.
I nk hug!!
I nk kiss!!!
I nak you skg jgk!!!!!!!!!!!!
COME!! COME!!! COME TO DADY!!!!! Hee.. :D

It's been awhile since the last time i blog. Tired actually.
But now i'm here to blog about something that is important to me
and think that i gotta say something about wat i think about. My opinion.

Here it goes......Haixx..

Had a great day tdy with suree. Went to the IT Fair to buy some stuffs.
It was really packed!!! OMG!! We both got squeeze in between.
After the short and squeezy shopping, I send her back home. That's were it all happened.

At her house with her family, she showed me her ABANG'S blog. He post a tribute to her.
So i read it. And guess how i feel???
I feel down, upset, regret, frustrated, confused, hurt, disorganized and blank.

He said,"And now you seem to have bumps in your relationship with Rizal (R). I know both of your are deeply in love with each other, but I somehow sense that you seem less happy when you are with him. I do not mean to be bad, but since you are with him, you simply are no longer like how I used to know you. How am I to say this out? If I say that I should not care about how you are when you are with him, it seems uncaring and self-fish of me. And when I say that you seem less happy with him, I am pictured as being a bad guy."

Well, straight forward, i can't say anything to him or to her because they knew each other first before i knew her. So let's face it. They knew each other better and deeper. He talks to her on the phone and i don't. I have my own reason for that. And they both get along better than me. So how?? I'm totally confused. Just to be honest, somethings are better to be left untold.
From what he said at his blog, I'm not THE ONE for her as she seems less happy nowadays. I can see that by my naked eyes. She not happy, she's not smiling. Even though she smile, there's always a vibe that she's hurting deep inside behind it. I can't seem to understand why, how, when and where it happened. I tried my best to overcome all obsticles in life to protect our relationships. Relationship always have their ups and downs. That's life. Normal. But i'm still hurt and confused when reading that paragraph.

Then he said,"I then realised that you treasure both Rizal and I equally. For Rizal and I are your weight, and you are the fulcrum; always ensuring that there is balance between the two of us."

If this sentence is true, then i gotta say "This hurt me too deep."
Why??
I'm ur BF, and he is your God Brother, it is like having 2 BFs. No no. It's like having a BF and a scandal. I would be the scandal as i just came into her life 3months ago.
As im typing this down, my heart is empty. My mind has been shut down. But my fingers are still moving typing this down. My eyes are just staring this LCD screen.

But suree, loving u is the only thing on my mind and protecting our relationship is first priority for me. But i dun understand why i'm like this. Why can't i make u happy??? Why????
All i have is words to which i must lay, i scribble them down hoping they'll save me but I'm LOST. These pages will burn and i will past away. Yesterday's gone, and i just can't shake the fact that i'm LOST.

Suriana, plz guide me through this manipulating path. I lov u so very much but from where i see, i'm not doin a good job. In fact, a terrible job.

Plz help dear??

Labels: PLZ HELP ME SUREE?? PLZ??