But now i'm here to blog about something that is important to me
and think that i gotta say something about wat i think about. My opinion.
Here it goes......Haixx..
Had a great day tdy with suree. Went to the IT Fair to buy some stuffs.
It was really packed!!! OMG!! We both got squeeze in between.
After the short and squeezy shopping, I send her back home. That's were it all happened.
At her house with her family, she showed me her ABANG'S blog. He post a tribute to her.
So i read it. And guess how i feel???
I feel down, upset, regret, frustrated, confused, hurt, disorganized and blank.
He said,"And now you seem to have bumps in your relationship with Rizal (R). I know both of your are deeply in love with each other, but I somehow sense that you seem less happy when you are with him. I do not mean to be bad, but since you are with him, you simply are no longer like how I used to know you. How am I to say this out? If I say that I should not care about how you are when you are with him, it seems uncaring and self-fish of me. And when I say that you seem less happy with him, I am pictured as being a bad guy."
Well, straight forward, i can't say anything to him or to her because they knew each other first before i knew her. So let's face it. They knew each other better and deeper. He talks to her on the phone and i don't. I have my own reason for that. And they both get along better than me. So how?? I'm totally confused. Just to be honest, somethings are better to be left untold.
From what he said at his blog, I'm not THE ONE for her as she seems less happy nowadays. I can see that by my naked eyes. She not happy, she's not smiling. Even though she smile, there's always a vibe that she's hurting deep inside behind it. I can't seem to understand why, how, when and where it happened. I tried my best to overcome all obsticles in life to protect our relationships. Relationship always have their ups and downs. That's life. Normal. But i'm still hurt and confused when reading that paragraph.
Then he said,"I then realised that you treasure both Rizal and I equally. For Rizal and I are your weight, and you are the fulcrum; always ensuring that there is balance between the two of us."
If this sentence is true, then i gotta say "This hurt me too deep."
Why??
I'm ur BF, and he is your God Brother, it is like having 2 BFs. No no. It's like having a BF and a scandal. I would be the scandal as i just came into her life 3months ago.
As im typing this down, my heart is empty. My mind has been shut down. But my fingers are still moving typing this down. My eyes are just staring this LCD screen.
But suree, loving u is the only thing on my mind and protecting our relationship is first priority for me. But i dun understand why i'm like this. Why can't i make u happy??? Why????
All i have is words to which i must lay, i scribble them down hoping they'll save me but I'm LOST. These pages will burn and i will past away. Yesterday's gone, and i just can't shake the fact that i'm LOST.
Suriana, plz guide me through this manipulating path. I lov u so very much but from where i see, i'm not doin a good job. In fact, a terrible job.
Plz help dear??
Labels: PLZ HELP ME SUREE?? PLZ??